Like many I am in a reflective mood as the year draws to a close, and while I’ve looked back on my own 2023 (tl,dr hard professionally and personally but rewarding growth) I’m also inspired to look back further by a post by Noel Hatch.
Noel posed the question ‘what were you doing 10 years ago’, and in the post further asked what what were the trends, what’s changed or stayed the same, and what lessons could you learn from that earlier version of yourself. Good, solid questions which spurred lots of memories and reflections for me.
Welcome to 2013
I described my 2023 as a liminal year – moving between one state and another but not fully part of both. Looking back it could be said that 2013 hit that same way for me.
In 2023 I was grieving the death of my father, in 2013 the loss of my mother the year before was still incredibly fresh.
This year I moved jobs and in doing so opened up unexpected opportunities and growth, and in 2013 I was on the cusp of what became a pivotal moment in my career after a change of workplace.
My children were both under 10 in 2013, and balancing being the mother I wanted to be with the demands of an office based job where I was being looked at to lead and deliver really challenged me. I put an incredible amount of pressure on myself back then, and I only feel I’ve started to ease up on that and really be kind to myself in the last year.
Looking back I can, sadly, see so many red flags in my personal relationships starting to raise in 2013, but like my relationship with myself the needed change in those took nearly another decade to come to pass.
Back then I’d recently returned to music journalism and was building up the courage to start putting on gigs while in 2023 despite missing my record label and music writing keenly I recognised my need for a pause was greater than my desire to keep pushing on.
So, let’s look a little deeper at a few of these areas and look at what’s changed and stayed the same, and what I could learn from myself back then.
Digital by design
Ten years ago I was deep in to my first stint in local government. In 2013 I left Derbyshire County Council and moved across the border to Nottinhamshire County Council.
It was my first time managing a team, and I was pulled between needing to play my part in major change and longing for acceptance I thought would be found in conformity.
Looking back I’d say the values I most often looked for in my work at that time were:
- constructive disruption
- courage
- community
I think these values hold, for me, and along with connection I’ll be keeping them as I move into a new year.
I can vividly remember the self-doubt in 2013 as I started that new role at a new council, and allowing myself to be pushed to trust my thinking and devise what became the Digital First programme.
This evolved capability and capacity in the channel, not making it the only choice but making it as good as it could be for those that would choose it. I would be challenged but so would my team, and the wider organisation. I’ll be actively looking for similar challenges during my current stint in local government.
Although I only managed a total of 8 working days back in local government before breaking up for 2023 I can already see familiar challenges, just with an even sharper edge to them:
- budgets are smaller, problems are bigger (and I think 2024 will see more councils declare financial breaking point)
- there is an even greater need for prevention, but less opportunity for it when crisis are all consuming
- digital teams are still seen (by some) as a publishing button and their ability to help shape meaningful transformation missed
- inclusion is often aspirational, exclusion is the undocumented choice
- user centred design is still being asked to prove its benefits
That there are now user centred design teams in local government shows the progress made. That there is more awareness of accessibility and inclusion is a good step forward too.
And that new solutions to old problems are being explored is hopeful to.
Finding and creating community
Back in 2013 I found much inspiration and support in the growing community of LocalGov Digital, seeing it move from connection through conversations (many between myself and Carl Haggerty and others on Twitter) to galvanised action (for which gratitude remains for Sarah Jennings for co-ordination and support).
I am so pleased that LocalGov Digital is still a community and still finding ways to work together across an ever-pressured sector. There is a little disconnect between the part I played in getting it started and the projects it’s delivered, the many relationships it must have nurtured. It’s a community I really hope I can again be an active part of in 2024 (if someone can give me access to the Slack I’d be super grateful).
I also found so much inspiration from events around that time – LocalGovCamp and GovCamp were both incredibly important in moving from intention to action, and experiencing solidarity with other lone wolves who were better at forgiveness than permission. There was much excitement the times us local govvers were invited to Google HQ, but also discomfort in realising big business weren’t there to play the game we were creating but to try and make us adhere to the rules of theirs.
I’d love to reconnect with some similar unconference style events, by the community and for the community (meaning peers). I’d love to find things had moved on and now these events are with the people we’re building services for and there’s a real and genuine ‘nothing about me without me’ co-design element that’s coalesced in the last decade.
Working out loud
I have missed being able to work out loud for much of the last decade.
Sometimes that has been because of the sector I was working in, sometimes while the sector practiced it I worked for someone who could not support me being involved. Sometimes my personal circumstances have meant I’ve needed to be quieter for one reason or another.
I realise now just how important working aloud is to me. It’s a vital part of me sorting out my thoughts, uncovering new ways forward for myself, and capturing them to return to more easily after time has passed.
It’s also a great opening way to connect. I do not always find face to face (in person or online) that easy, but having conversations around something I’ve shared or someone else’s work really helps me to connect and see other connections across my network.
Going forward, I’m making the ability to work out loud and seek out counselling and coaching relationships as needed, a non-negotiable if I’m to work and be at my best.
Dancing about architecture
…or writing about music.
In 2013 I’d been actively writing about music for around a year after taking a break of a few years before that. I’d found a home in Louder Than War but I hadn’t yet fully found my voice.
The next 5 years allowed me to develop that and gave me the opportunity to have rewarding conversations with artists I’d long admired, or who were new to me and I didn’t yet know would become important.
Writing about music was about connection, and pattern-spotting, and the human condition (which makes it sound very grand). I intellectualised and I felt deeply. And without knowing I was put in a position which allowed Reckless Yes to come into being.
Writing about music, supporting others to write, being trusted with art and helping to connect new fans with artists were the things I’d dreamed of since my days of Smash Hits and taping the charts off the radio.
But working in music also exposed me to some really unpleasant experiences – misogyny, manipulation, and #metoo moments. I felt like an outsider in music communities more often than I felt I was welcome, and increasingly things felt transactional rather than genuine. There was a lot of frustration.
Part of the pause I’m in now is me working out why I might want to continue with music journalism, and as a record label. I am sure that Reckless Yes will continue, but not yet sure on the form or the function.
All I’ve got so far is that I’m in this for connection, and my own creativity is as important as serving others by supporting and amplifying theirs. I’ll be nurturing those aspects over the next 10 years for sure.
An unknown future
There’s lots which has changed and yet stayed the same in the last 10 years. The intervening decade has let me experience different sectors, and working for myself, and learning the sort of people I’m willing to spend my time and energy alongside (and those I absolutely am not).
Those years have seen opportunities I’d never of anticipated – the writing of and publication of my first novel, and putting on those gigs and starting a record label (and releasing hundreds of songs from amazing artists who trusted me with their art), some tentative travel for work (both digital and music writing).
Mostly I’d like to recapture some of the resolute hope that the past me had, and the trust that change doesn’t happen all at once but incrementally because of consistency. I’d like to keep the energy and enthusiasm of 2013 me and pair it with the ability to set and hold boundaries of the me leaving 2023.
I’m glad I’ve been able to rebalance my work and non-work time in the last 10 years. Back in 2013 I was working pretty constantly due to being online and engaged even outside of office hours. Now I work reduced hours for 4 day weeks, and more mindfully choose when I’m engaged. It’s much healthier, productive and satisfying.
I’d like to remain open as we go into this unknown, uncertain, and unstable future. Back then it was all about the possibilities and I think that’s a pretty good way to keep moving forward.
Shall we connect in 2024?
I’m already looking ahead to 2024 and one of the things I intend to focus on is connection and conversations.
If you’re in to UX, content design, local government service and digital design, music, writing or gardening then let’s please find time to chat. But whatever you’re into I’d love to have a conversation – because we all learn from each other whether we start with known common ground or not.
If you’d like to meet for a virtual coffee and chat let me know – you can get in touch in these ways, via the social networks where I share this (LinkedIn and Bluesky I expect), or drop me a comment here (I will try really hard to remember to check the pending comment queue).